Chase (v): To follow rapidly in order to catch (this could pertain to my career), to go and follow in pursuit (I think I’ll assign this to love)

I wish I had a PhD in life, unfortunately I don’t. It’s a hard thing to do and being an independent woman in Boston doesn’t make it any easier; I’m a triple A, work till I drop, laugh a lot because I can, walk fast, talk fast kinda girl. I do it all and I do it in 5 inch heels.

You would think navigating a career and a new relationship while breaking the age barrier of 30 would be as easy as getting home in a timely manner during a sox-yankees series (this ladies and gents is sarcasm at its finest). However it is not and I am stumbling through this cray cray life one day at a time with a iPhone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

These are my daily musings; my everyday observations. I am here to rave, rant , tell my stories and perhaps laugh at those times when wine and over priced shoes, tears just aren’t enough.

So what happens after you caught Prince Charming? You could say I’m still Chasing Boston.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Episode 4: “Yes, Just One”

I must admit, my job is pretty amazing; yes I work long hours, and sleeping is something I have only heard about and lord only knows when I had a regular eating schedule, but I have perks. One of those was cashed in this weekend as I had a site visit to Bermuda for a June wedding.

“Welcome to the Mandarin at Elbow Beach” ahhhh sweet words to my ears. I honestly could not have lucked out with a better event. Not only is the client AH.MAZ.ING, but were are hosting the wedding in utter paradise. I have never seen more beautiful water and the island is run by the British… me some accents.

As I checked in I was asked the question that is asked to every guest: “One Key or Two” my reply: “Just one please”. You would have thought I walked into a room full of Divos wearing a pair of last year flats.

“You don’t want two? What will your boyfriend use” (hmmm I thought I can’t even get a date, let alone a solid dating life that could potentially lead to monogamous relationship with a man who I could refer to as my boyfriend.) nope, just me…..just one. “Aww, but you’re so pretty”, you don’t have a boyfriend or husband” No, none of that (cue annoyed /embarrassed laughter) “well that’s too bad”

Is it?, I thought, Is it really too bad? The only bad thing about my situation is that I am face to face with a constant reminder that I am still single, still fabulous and still…..just one. Even on a tropical Island, I couldn’t escape the single girl complex.

I guess it didn’t really hit me until I walked into the Gardenia Suite (think the most amazing hotel room you have ever seen and times it by a pair of Christian Louboutins) and I suddenly realized that I am all alone, with no one to share it with and no one to call…….so what’s a girl do to?? I immediately got undressed, jumped on the bed, drew and AMAZING bath in this huge tub in the middle of my bathroom and ordered room service. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a gourmet hot dog a phone call away??

After my evening of “girly time” I had to remember that I was there for one important reason
So here’s to planning an amazing wedding, and waking up next to a British Accent……

Friday, March 12, 2010

Episode 3: “These Shoes Are Made For Walking…..or Hailing Taxi’s”

“So, how will your parents react to you being in relationship with a 46 year old man from Africa?”
*record scratch* cue choking sounds from inhaling a large piece of chocolate cake
“I’m sorry, did you say “in a relationship”…………..

Let’s back up the Train, Mr. International Man of Mystery made his debut in the cross walk of Huntington Ave one night in September. He was charming, polite and smoother than a freshly waxed pair of legs. I was simply walking to get some groceries as all that resided in my fridge was a bottle of miller lite, a wedge of unrecognizable cheese and some blueish stuff in a Tupperware container (it had been a very long summer)

I was walking in, he was walking out and found it appropriate to grab my arm, pull me close, whisper in my ear “you are so beautiful and seeing you made my week” and then gently kiss my blushed cheek.

SIDE NOTE: I know what you must be thinking…who falls for this, well I do, I have estrogen raging through my body, and of COURSE I was going to fall for that.

We moved out of the cross walk, he asked for my number, I obliged (see note above) and 30 minutes later I had a text in my inbox simply stating “you took my breath away, dinner on Saturday night?”

SIDE NOTE: as I’m reading that I’m actually grimacing. A full on gag face.

Mr. IMOM pulled out all of the tricks from the “How to Get Laid: A Step By Step Guide For The Modern Man” book and I like a woman who hadn’t been out with a man in a while, ate every last bit of it up. The conversation went from sports, politics and travel to my favorite subject, dessert and conveniently where we were had the “best chocolate cake” in Boston, and as I took that first luscious bite, home skillet had to spit out the line of all lines and ruin what could have been an orgasmic first bite……

“So, how will your parents react to you being in relationship with a 46 year old man from Africa?”
“I’m sorry, did you say “in a relationship (choke choke choke)”, and please explain the age thing, because I’m not quite understanding?”
“Well your 21 right, and I’m 46”
“Yeah only I’m actually 28”
“You’re 28!!”
“Wow, really this is happening, I need some air”

And as my hand just gets to the door I hear “so wait……does this mean were not in a relationship?!?!”

I may not have been wearing walking shoes that night (I rarely do), but I do know how to do one thing in 4 inch black velvet stillhettos….


Monday, March 8, 2010

Episode 2: “You’ve Got Mail”

Coming to grips with the fact that I am in the middle of the on-line dating revolution has made me realize 3 things:
(1) Describing myself in 500 characters is easy.
I’m amazing, I Wear Heels every day, I like Hot Dogs, Oysters, Wine and Michael Jackson
(2) Guys describing themselves in 500 characters is Hilarious!
I want to know the real you, I like snuggling on the couch, laughing at inside jokes we create with each other, cooking on Sunday Mornings, taking you out for nice dinners on the town and pampering you like the woman you are (insert any additional cliché phrase that guys think girls want to hear)
(3) it’s not as easy as I thought

We all have the friends who are a walking commercial for the On-Line dating adds, I like every other single girl in the city was curious, I mean if Ellen “snobby McSnob-ster” can find Mr. “Crest Pro-Health White Smile, Business Savant, Amazing Golf Swing, Nicest Man You Ever Met” than I can surely find someone who I can sort of tolerate for a short amount of time.

Or so I thought…

At first it was an ego boost, I was getting “winks” left and right (I have no idea what they are or what purpose they serve, but it I liked it.) Then I woke up from my dream world and reality set in...was I so much of a freak that I had to turn to meeting people on line just to get a date?! There was only one cure for my on-set depression; wine with a floater of Jimmy Choo.

Soon, my daily email was flooded with all types of characters vying for my attention; unfortunately they all lacked the creative edge to consider a response. If I had to hear “you seem like a pretty and intelligent person and I think we have a lot in common” again I was going to gag. Then you had the opposite end of the spectrum where Mr. Bigdong69 resided, and FYI just because I have a deliverance reference in my profile does not mean that sending me an email with the title of “I’m going to make you squeal like a pig” is appropriate, in fact that is the opposite of appropriate. Good God, who are you?!?!

And then one day in mid December, there it was…. The perfect email; it was funny, witty, and he clearly took time to read through my profile. I found myself giggling like a school girl (which also triggers my gag reflex) and although he was from NY, I wanted to know more. We exchanged a few message, did the number swap and agreed to meet. Via email, he fit like a glass slipper. Of course we hit it off (home boy looked AH.MAZ.ING in a suit) and 3 glasses of Riesling later, we parted ways and I skipped the entire way home.

I was excited to get the text just 12 short hours later asking for a second date….. He would come to be known as McSport.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Episode 1: The Talk

I so wanted to start this blog on a good upbeat note, but then I decided what fun would THAT be!!

It finally happened, it was just like in the movies; the phone rang it was McSport and he sputtered out the all too common phrase of “I think you’re a great girl, but I don’t see this going anywhere” (girls this means “I like sex, and I like sex with you, I just don’t like YOU) UGH! I had survived 28 years without this ever being said to me and here I was cellular face to cellular face with the phrase from hell on my Sunday night.

This had been 2 months in the making, I had met his friends, we had spent New Year’s together, and we had great sex, amazingly hot and steamy uninhibited sex. Unfortunately we didn’t have anything else, and by that I mean, to him I did have anything else. The truth is he made me laugh and he gave me butterflies but apparently an OCD, hotter than hell (I had to give myself some props) classically trained in French Horn, party planner with a closet full of shoes wasn’t his type.

I thought this was it, maybe not the one, maybe not love, but closer than I have been in a long time and here he was giving me “the talk” and let’s not forget the clinch last line of “I don’t want to sound cliché, but I have a great time with you so don’t be a stranger, I’m up for drinks or whatever (aka, anytime you want to hook up, I’m here)” my response “EAT SHIT” my real response; “yeah, would love to, I’ll keep that in mind.” Paging Courtney’s balls……anyone seen them?

What happens next is pretty cloudy, I think I stopped breathing only to impede any tears from forming, to which I said, “Ok, sooo not really sure what to say, but High 5, cool…..yeah
High 5?!?!?! Who am I? Kimmy Gibbler?? GAWD pull yourself together girl!

I immediately did what any girl would do, got in my hottest dress, opened a bottle of wine, decided that was a bad idea, promptly closed the bottle of wine, took out a box of velveta shells and cheese, put back said box of no good caloric wasteland, sat on the kitchen floor and cried…..and then…..I put on Gaga and I danced. 1 hour and 16 songs later I was exhausted, sweaty and void of any emotional ties.

Our little, we shouldn’t see each other anymore conversation on Sunday didn’t stop him from sending out the booty call on Monday night, and that didn’t stop me from answering it-a girls got her needs and a Monday Night sex sesh was just the thing for a Tuesday pick me up.