Chase (v): To follow rapidly in order to catch (this could pertain to my career), to go and follow in pursuit (I think I’ll assign this to love)

I wish I had a PhD in life, unfortunately I don’t. It’s a hard thing to do and being an independent woman in Boston doesn’t make it any easier; I’m a triple A, work till I drop, laugh a lot because I can, walk fast, talk fast kinda girl. I do it all and I do it in 5 inch heels.

You would think navigating a career and a new relationship while breaking the age barrier of 30 would be as easy as getting home in a timely manner during a sox-yankees series (this ladies and gents is sarcasm at its finest). However it is not and I am stumbling through this cray cray life one day at a time with a iPhone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

These are my daily musings; my everyday observations. I am here to rave, rant , tell my stories and perhaps laugh at those times when wine and over priced shoes, tears just aren’t enough.

So what happens after you caught Prince Charming? You could say I’m still Chasing Boston.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Episode 5: “You Can Walk the Walk, but can you Sext the Text?”

Mr. “I’m Too Sexy For My Text” came wafting in and out of my life quicker than that Prada Parfume I insisted on wearing for 1 whole week until I realized that it was a bad decision, a very bad, unpleasant decision. Too bad only one of them had a return policy.

Its times like these that I start to think I could be too picky, but in reality I’m looking for IT, I don’t want almost or maybe, and he fell somewhere in-between Hell to the No and OMG you’re kidding right?

First and foremost I have to say that I am a huge proponent for the sext game; there is nothing better than getting either the subtle little hot message in the middle of the day or the full out graphic text where every single word makes you sweat. This guy not only missed the mark he struck out before he even got up to bat.

Its fair game as far as I’m concerned with what you say and when you say it, but there is one important rule; for the love of God don’t be awkward, and always always always read before your send (I guess that’s two, but who’s counting?) . I thought maybe he was a newbie to the game, and I’m just being hard on him, but I was looking for enlightenment in a possible relationship and I sure got it, there it was in my inbox.

I like to read these kinds of messages in a slow fashion, taking in every word and every thought as if I can absorb the exact feelings of the sender and this started out at a 10 “The thought of sliding deep inside you makes me…….” And then I read the last word: “Smile” well technically he wrote “mile” but I assume he meant smile

I’m sorry, sphincter says what?? Really? Smile… couldn’t think of another anything to put in there??? Maybe that’s all he had seeing as he hadn’t performed the aforementioned activity, but COME ON! I can think of a plethora of nouns to insert into slot B and none of them are the word smile or mile for that matter

Unfortunately the horror didn't stop there, and I was slapped with a phrase that ended in “Mutual Pleasure” WHHHHATTTT? Is this the Harvard Theology Department of Stimulating Members of the Female Persuasion? I didn’t even know how to respond….mutual pleasure?? Please clarify…..on second thought don’t, as I have been scarred enough for one evening.

I like to consider myself reactive in every situation possible, but this left me speechless, literally I could not find the words to respond. So I didn’t but If I could turn back time, I would say “You had me until your silly little smiling game got out of hand; ring the bell, your down for the count…..NEXT!!!”

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