Monday, July 1, 2013
Episode 20: Ben there Raped that…
So as I previously announced that I was receiving psychotic emails from a person named Ben Rapley (I originally posted his name was Rapely but alas it is not; I will however continue to call him that mostly because that is exactly what he did to my inbox)
I came into work on Monday the 27th and had received a push notification that I had some unread email in this email account that I haven’t checked in FOOORREEVVER. I immediately click on my inbox and see this:
Email 4: He forgot his closer in the last email so he’s sending another one…big girl? (Cue: my ex-boyfriend thinks I’m faaaaat!!!)
My first thought was "Why is Amanda Bynes sending me emails?!" Then I clicked it open ( YES for those of who are thinking…”uhhh idiot it was probably a scam or a virus” I challenge you to find the same thing and not open it)
Email 1: This starts out pretty innocent, I mean I kind of feel bad for the fellow, WILL I ever speak to him again?
Email 2: Ok he is obviously getting frustrated now, but he’s gonna “swear down” whatever that means
Email 3: Ben's anger has taken over his ability to think rationally. He is one angry spice and he is going to let me know it because it’s ALL IN CAPS!!!!!
Email 5: Thank GOD he is giving me 1 month to cool off!! I for sure, need some space after emails 1-4
Email 6: I think Ben is feeling out of the loop, he needs to know now and apparently has reneged his offer for the 1 month cool off
I sent an email politely explaining that He has me confused with someone else...he choose to ignore that.
Email 7: It’s a new day and he is obviously not approving of my facebook friend list, but because he is such a good friend he is going to tell me some very hard news that he thinks I should know.
Email 8: I’m getting the feeling that he is SUPER pissed about Nathan
Email 9: Ben has now morphed into Chris Brown, but he called me “love” so he still must care right?
Email 10: I call this the sting email “every move you maaaaake, Ill be watching you”
I finally sent a secondary email saying “Dude, seriously you are filling up my inbox” and then I got this:
Email 11: This is the best “ I know I sounded crazy….but I love you” NO Hunny you didn't sound crazy, you ARE crazy...
I hate to tell you Ben, but WEEEE....are NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER....like ever, mostly because you are clearly coo coo for cocoa puffs, but also because your grammar is horrible, Oh and there was that time you call me an ugly cunt (Please reference Email 8). On behalf of your Courtney, Myself and every other Courtney; Go Screw.